3 Things to Remember When Parenting Feels Crazy

It’s not just you; parenting is crazy. For some it comes naturally, like a realized dream—a grace to taste and see the good. For others it feels like uncharted territory, requiring a faith that hopes for things not yet seen. No matter how we feel, we can remember that parenthood is a calling. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, and this calling is not dependent on our feelings of readiness, competencies, or even on our preparedness.

When we recognize our inadequacy as an example, provider, or loving caregiver, let us turn to the Lord who is not simply a metaphor of the perfect Father; it is who He is. The calling of parenthood is not a human institution that we project onto God; it is a divine reality that God has graciously extended to us. Every tender instinct we have as parents—to teach, to heal, to lead with conviction, to run toward our child in compassion—reflects the One from whom all fatherhood is named. When we are caught up in a wave of uncertainty or exhaustion, we can turn time and again to the Lord whose “steadfast love . . . never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lam. 3:22–23). With this promise, here are three things to remember when parenting feels crazy.

1. We are shaped by our experiences.

Parenthood is often surprising in the way it draws out our past experiences while we’re in the middle of creating new ones. Sharing and interpreting these experiences is important. For many of us, it is vital that we address our sorrows in order to truly embrace new joys. Moses reminds the Israelites as they stand on the edge of the promised land:

Take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. (Deut. 4:9)

Their losses and God’s manifold provisions were not meant to be left behind them but to interpret their experiences in the wilderness and to inform their parenting for this generation and the next.

In this way, we should be diligent to use practical wisdom without fearing that history is doomed to repeat itself. When parenting feels crazy, we need to consider how our experiences have shaped our understanding of ourselves and how we see God because He uses parenthood to shape and sanctify us for our good and His glory.

2. We can pray imperfectly.

As the Lord equips us, He does not equip us to be perfect in the way we often hope—with greater speed, accuracy, confidence, and success. Parenthood offers many opportunities to be humbled in how little we have to offer and how little we can affect. Try as we might, we cannot be all things to our children. It is important that we remember our higher calling: “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12). Our children’s greatest need is not for us to be the answer or solution, but to see our dependence on the Lord and the blessing that they have to call on Him as well.

When parenting feels crazy, we can pray imperfectly: quickly and often, through the long watches of the night, and in all seasons. Our calls to prayer are a lifeline and a witness. Do we believe the Lord watches over us while we sleep? We can pray with our children when they wake with nightmares and illnesses. Do we believe the Lord provides our daily needs? We can give thanks for our food and find practical joy in counting our blessings together. Do we believe the Lord provides wisdom? We can ask trusted friends for prayer, sharing our burdens while also receiving practical suggestions.

3. It’s never too late to start doing the right thing.

The hardest part of any commitment is faithfulness in the small, unseen, and unpraised things. We all often want to move on to greater things, but if we are not faithful in the mundane, we will not fulfill our calling. Jesus reminds us:

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock . . . And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. (Matt. 7:24, 26)

Recognizing this, we then understand the importance of how we respond to mistakes. Parenting is filled with mistakes—ours and those of our children. When we build carelessly or ignore the cracks, the structure will inevitably suffer. When parenting feels crazy, we can remember that it’s never too late to start doing the right thing because we are building for eternity and the Rock will withstand every storm. Any effort to build upon the Rock is for the good of our children and God’s glory.

Conclusion

Contrary to the popular motivational statement, we do not all have the same twenty-four hours in a day. People and situations are complicated. We don’t all have the same resources, time, needs, or commitments. These things are sovereignly administered and not necessarily indicative of our inner life, outward behavior, or favor with God. Our times, and the times of our children, are in His hands.

With that in mind, we should remember that faithfulness is not measured by comparison to others or by the absence of problems, but by obedience to Jesus Christ and His Word. Building on the Rock requires honesty and consistency, but it is because of the hope that is within us that we remain steady in the face of the hard things of parenting. The Proverbs remind us, “Discipline your son, for there is hope” (Prov. 19:18). We see the complexities of things so much more clearly in the rearview, yet the Lord calls us to trust Him in the steps along our way. He knows the way; He goes before us; He knows we are broken vessels. When parenting feels crazy, we can remember we are not only raising children but also proclaiming hope.