Discipleship in a Sexualized Culture

In March of 2015, a Delaware family traveled to the U.S. Virgin Islands for a vacation. While in their room, they began to feel ill—headaches, fatigue, coughs, and shortness of breath. By the time they sought medical attention, the two teenage sons needed to be placed in a medically induced coma and put on ventilators. The whole family experienced neurological damage that lasted weeks and months, creating lifelong damage in some of them. It wasn’t until an investigation was conducted that it was discovered that another part of the resort was being treated for an insect infestation with the agricultural insecticide methyl bromide. The preliminary conclusion was that the methyl bromide escaped the containment area, possibly through the ventilation system, and poisoned the family.

Every Christian family is experiencing something similar today. They are being exposed to environmental poison that is inducing spiritual illness and potentially long-term soul damage. Sexual immorality, pornography, and promiscuity are silently filling the spaces in which we live and breathe. It poisons children, teens, married couples, unmarried adults, and the elderly. And like methyl bromide, it is often undetectable. If our goal as Christians is to be and make godly disciples, we must address sexual immorality in all its forms as a regular part of normal Christian discipleship.

But the reality of this threat should not discourage us, as long as we take action, for at least two reasons. First, sexual immorality, even in its most deviant and perverted forms, is not a new challenge for Christians. Sexual sin is as old as the fall of man. The civilizations that comprise human history have a long record of deviating from God’s good plan of sex being reserved for the covenant of marriage alone. God’s people have always been pilgrims, pursuing holiness in every area of life in a wicked and twisted generation (2 Peter 2:7). Second, the Bible is not silent either about sexual sin or sexual purity. The Bible declares in detail the glories that await the individual and the married couple as they pursue godliness in every area of life, including how we honor God as men and women, as gendered and sexual beings.

That being said, there are three actions that Christians can take today as disciples and disciple-makers who firmly resist sexual sin: delay, define, and defend.

1. Every Christian must delay sexual intimacy until they are married.

Solomon, in Song of Songs, counsels us to “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song 2:7). Paul encourages the Thessalonians to control their vessels in honor, resisting sexual sin (1 Thess. 4:3–4). The fruit of the Holy Spirit includes self-control (Gal. 5:23). Even in marriage, there are times for sexual restraint (1 Cor. 7:5). We must, as Christians, normalize the expectation that our sexuality is not a collection of uncontrollable urges. In fact, one of the areas where Christians will grow in self-control is in controlling their bodies in the avoidance of sexual sin. This sexual self-control is not a heroic feat; it is a normal part of being a Christian. So, especially for those Christians who are not yet married, delaying the experience of sexual intimacy is a normal and expected part of Christian discipleship. And, in God’s providence, some may be called to lifelong celibacy as single adults.

2. Christians must define and rejoice in God’s good design for sex.

We are bombarded by media and societal expectations with views and ideas about sex and sexuality that are completely at odds with godly sexuality. If we are not actively and aggressively studying, teaching, and discipling others toward God’s clear teaching on sexuality, then we will inadvertently pick up society’s skewed and sinful views of sex. We must boldly remind ourselves and our fellow Christians what godly sexuality actually is (Gen. 2:24–25). This should not be a taboo subject or one that is only brought up when sin has already reared its ugly head. God does not shy away from talking about the beauty of sex within marriage as the only godly expression of sexuality, and neither should we.

3. Christians must defend against sexual sin and temptation wherever it may occur (1 Cor. 6:18).

Temptation is very real (Matt. 6:13). There are times when it may surprise us, but Christians can also prepare themselves for potential temptation and learn the ways and wiles of Satan (Eph. 6:11; 2 Cor. 2:11). This includes guarding ourselves and the children and teens in our care from online pornography and sexually explicit material. This means avoiding sexually suggestive content in television, movies, and music. This means avoiding intimate conversations with people who are not your spouse. It means all these things and more. Every Christian will face sexual temptation in their lives. We must prepare for and defend against it.

Conclusion

Thankfully, God has given us two great gifts. First, for those who have indulged in sexual sin, there is repentance. The blood of Christ is powerful to save, and Christ is a merciful Savior. If you have sinned sexually, repent of it and turn away from it.

Second, God has given us the Holy Spirit to govern our conscience and lead us in the way of holiness. Pay attention to your conscience and pursue holiness as the great gift that God gives to growing disciples. Sexual sin and temptation are very real and deadly, but our God has conquered sin and provided the way for His people to avoid it and grow in Christ, especially in our sexuality.