How Can I Deal with Despair?

If hope is longing for life, despair is longing for an end. Like Elijah under the broom tree (1 Kings 19:1–10), Job regretting his birth (Job 3), or Paul, so burdened by affliction that he despaired of his life (2 Cor. 1:8), believers born to a living hope can feel trapped in times of anguish. 

The psalmist cried out,

All your breakers and your waves
have gone over me. (Ps. 42:7)

Job lamented, “My spirit is broken; my days are extinct” (Job 17:1). These aren’t just poetic sentiments—they reflect a reality where suffering can stretch beyond what we’re wired to bear.

Despair doesn’t only come to those we might think are likely candidates: the gloomy ones, the discontent, or those of little understanding. No, even vibrant saints like Charles Spurgeon, Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and John Bunyan experienced seasons of deep anguish and agony. It doesn’t discriminate based on temperament or spiritual maturity.

A person in despair wants one thing: relief from it. The very nature of the struggle is the powerful illusion of defeat and meaninglessness without solution or escape. The psalmist described it this way:

I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me. (Ps. 69:2)

Like treading water in a turbulent sea, it can feel like we’re drowning in plain sight, just out of rescue’s reach.

Whether a slow descent or a sudden pushing of the mind and soul to the brink, despair distorts the reality of the believer’s hope and reduces the capacity of body, mind, and soul. Restoration, then, involves a restored perception and capacity as we lean on Christ in our weakness and exercise faith through “small” steps of obedience, patience, and hope that break despair’s momentum.

Interrupting Rumination

In Bunyan’s *The Pilgrim’s Progress *, when Christian languished in Giant Despair’s castle, the darkness wasn’t an illusion; it was a palpable, suffocating reality. Likewise, we may be in the midst of very bleak circumstances, but despair makes us cycle them endlessly while obfuscating our hope in Christ. Christian’s deliverance came not because the darkness ended but because he remembered to use the key of promise in his pocket.

God’s Word needs to regularly interrupt and reshape our thoughts. When abandonment looms, recall that He has promised never to leave or forsake you. When depths seem beyond God’s reach, remember that He descended into Sheol itself. When you don’t know what to pray, know that the Spirit groans on your behalf. 

Caring for the Body

When Elijah felt overwhelmed, God provided him with food, rest, and His presence. We are created with finite capacities that need restoration when depleted. Humility, then, requires daily exercise, getting enough sleep, nourishing our bodies, soaking in sunlight, seeking medical care, and allowing ourselves to rest instead of pushing through responsibilities. While tending to our physical needs may seem insignificant or futile, it'’s actually a powerful act of obedience to honor the limits of our creatureliness and trust in God’s provision. 

Turning Outward

Like a survival instinct, despair consumes every part of the sufferer, demanding self-focus and isolation. The powerful twist of distorted introspection can be diminished by the giving and receiving of time, care, and presence with others. It is good to let others in, not only to receive love but also to give it through conversation and attention. Small acts of caring prioritize others and act as strong countermeasures against the pull toward self-focus. Pray for those around you, send a note of encouragement, focus a conversation on them—all of these are freeing ways to restore an outward-looking posture toward God and neighbor.

Rescue of Routine

When despair strips us to life’s essentials, let us embrace the essentials as part of our rescue. Daily routines, no matter how small, bring order. Simple tasks like rising each morning, doing laundry, or mowing the lawn become lifelines of normalcy and purpose. Even if efforts feel robotic, embracing the next thing is an act of hope. Faithfulness in small things (Luke 16:10) rebuilds our capacity and affirms meaning and purpose, transforming the mundane into rescue.

Comfort of Creation

When dread looms large, remembering our smallness in light of God’s majesty and sovereignty brings relief. He holds all creation together, including us. Job’s despair turned to worship as God displayed His character and sovereignty in upholding everything from Orion’s belt in the sky to the gates of the ocean. Taking walks in nature, lying beneath the stars, planting flowers, caring for animals—the beauty of creation comforts us and reorients our perspective as He ministers to us through the natural world. 

Persevere with Patience

When darkness persists and relief doesn’t come, remember that the progression from suffering to hope requires endurance. This implies time and trust. Living in the tension isn’t easy, but weakness and need are the prerequisites for learning total dependence on Christ. He has called us not only to share in His victory and resurrection power, but also in the fellowship of His sufferings (Phil. 3:10). Persevere in those faltering steps of faith—it is exactly the good work He prepared for you to do in this season.

Do not fear the shadows. Though they feel unending, the reality is that it’s just “a little while [until] the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10). The shadows may deepen still, but they can never claim those who have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of the Son (Col. 1:13).