How Can I Honor God in My Decisions?

Some decisions come easier than others. The choice between a hamburger and a pizza may take a moment of reflection, but usually there is no great distress over the decision. But other decisions—the big ones—sometimes leave us grasping for a sign from heaven. Which college should I go to? Is the person I am dating the person I should marry? I have two really good job offers, so which one should I accept? Suddenly, given the weight of the decision, we feel we need more than mere prudence—we need a sign.

So, we try to read the “codes” that God leaves us, or unusual circumstances, or dreams, or the theme of a recent Netflix show we just watched, or even zucchini bread. Yes, zucchini bread. A close friend of mine in college desired to be married. He also did not want to go through all the typical dating rigmarole. One day, my friend prayed and asked God to send a sign. He asked that the young woman God had set aside for him bake him zucchini bread completely out of the blue. Guess what? It actually happened. A young woman, a friend of his, baked him zucchini bread—I kid you not. They started dating. Two years later, she broke up with him. What? But the bread! Maybe God had a sense of humor, but that bread was not the way to know God’s will, and my friend learned a lesson: Providence alone is not the foundation of discernment.

So then, how does one ascertain what God wants us to do when we face a big decision?

Let me use the illustration of a three-legged stool that sits atop a solid floor. The floor is the Word of God. The Bible refers to “the will of God” primarily as the revealed Scripture, not the particulars of a future action. When God leads people, it is always by virtue of His revealed will and character in His Word. We often forget this. God’s will, before it is vocation or location, is about our character, our values, and our holiness. A classic text that has guided me is Proverbs 3:5–6:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

This word of wisdom reminds me that God and His Word must be the focus of all my decisions. What will honor Him? Am I planning out of confidence in God or out of fear or self-ambition? As I make decisions, big or small, that focus on God, then He promises to straighten out the way ahead. How does He do that? That brings us to the three-legged stool.

1. Desire

The first leg is desire. The Bible rebukes ungodly desires, but desire itself is part of our humanity. We live according to our desires, which influence our intellect, our will, and even our emotions. As the floor of God’s Word penetrates our hearts, then our desires are baptized in God’s revealed will. We can look to those desires as they direct us. The Lord puts vocational, relational, and locational desires in us as we first desire God Himself. So, ask yourself the question, “What do I desire to do in this situation?” But that alone is not enough.

2. Ability

The second leg is ability. Do you have the ability to fulfill the decision? You may want to run a mile in four minutes, but if you are not a gifted runner, your desire has met its match. You will need to discern your God-given gifts as you look at an opportunity. Let’s say you desire to attend a prestigious college. You must be realistic about your academic ability. Can you do well at that college with proper discipline and balance? You may desire to go to Harvard, and you may be gifted enough to thrive at Harvard, but there is still yet another issue. Harvard must invite you to study there. Desire and ability must be tethered to an open door, which brings us to our final point.

3. Opportunity

The third leg is opportunity. God opens doors and God closes doors. We do not like closed doors. But a closed door is God’s clear direction, for it clearly tells you what God does not want. Learn to accept and even be thankful for closed doors. But God also opens doors. He may open more than one. In that case, that is when you look at desire and ability and see if one seems more attractive. What if it’s a tie? This is where you use the wisdom of godly input from others, prayerfulness, more reading of Scripture, reading solid Christian books that focus your heart on Christ, and other means to root you in God’s revealed will and heart for you. Over time, the decision will often become clear. God wants to straighten your path, and He will not tease you. He may design the journey to be complicated, but that is part of your growth. A decision is often about the character formation in getting there and not just the decision itself.

Conclusion

I have found that Scripture and wisdom-based decision-making protects us from so much anxiety and fiddling around with cloud formations and liver shivers. This means of following God is still complicated, but it is less complicated than trying to find the God-codes left for us as a bread-crumb trail. God sometimes does use unusual means to guide us, but even those should be tested against Scripture. May God’s Word, with a consideration of your desire, ability, and opportunity, help you navigate a life that pleases the Lord.