Wisdom Principles for Christian Parenting

In our book, Equipping for Life, and the shorter summary, Parenting Essentials, my husband and I argue that biblical parenting consists of three significant elements: responsibility, relationship, and realism. Here, I offer three key aspects of these big-picture principles to encourage parents as they look to guide their families. Specifically, I believe that “the Lord builds the house” through parents who embrace their God-given mission of parenting, exercise a powerful presence in their children’s lives, and adopt a long-term perspective (Ps. 127:1).

Recognize the Sacred Trust of Parenting

Parenting is a sacred trust. It is a mission that has potential to outperform parents’ own experiences and, ultimately, outlast their lives. It is a specific and primary stewardship given by God to each couple that is able to have children. Specifically, the parenting responsibility, according to God’s design, is given to a married couple, a man and a woman, multiplying and exercising dominion over the world God made (Gen. 1:28).

One way that parents manage the earth is through conceiving children and raising them to love and serve their Creator. As maturing image-bearers spread across the globe, they cultivate the land and fulfill the cultural mandate. Parents promote God’s mandate by equipping their children for life so that they can participate in God’s work on the earth.

As a parent, be encouraged that you are not doing this for yourself, or by yourself, but with and for God. Remember that you’re not alone. You have a divine blueprint (God’s plan and purpose for your child), divine instruction (the Scriptures), divine empowerment (the Holy Spirit), and a divinely given support group (the church). Humility and dependence on God are the proper disposition as we recognize that God has privileged us to procreate children.

Many parents lack confidence, are weary from the journey, or feel overwhelmed, defeated, or lack motivation. Add to this the challenges of the current culture that seeks to redefine parental identities and roles amid growing confusion. Yet though the foundations around us are crumbling (Ps. 11:3), it is vital that parents maintain a clear perspective on what God has called them to do.

Be Powerfully Present in Your Parenting

As the divinely designated mother or father of your child, live out your role as God’s primary human representative in their life by your presence. The goal is to be present in the relationship in your sanctification. The influence and impact of who you are as a maturing person in Christ is inestimable. Truly, presence is the essence of parenting. Once children embrace the faith, they will also have the Holy Spirit’s presence, but they will still need you.

Parents’ continual committed relational presence with their children is vital for the impartation of truth, love, and care (Deut. 6:4–7). Make the time. Take the time. Be there to relate, guide, teach, and correct. Engage your child in conversation, seizing teachable moments. Be available when they need you. Evoke awareness within them with well-placed questions (Prov. 20:5). Share wisdom as you listen to their heart and represent your heavenly Father to them.

In the overflow of your own intimate and growing relationship with Him, stand ready to impact your child. Though there may be other significant influences in your child’s life, no one can truly take the significant place of a father or mother.

Realize the Long-Term Nature of Parenting

Keep a long view. Be patient. Realize the necessary long-term gradual development while keeping in mind the final overarching goal. Raising your child will, of course, take several years before launching them into independent adulthood. At the end of the road, responsible Christian parenting involves preparing your children for their God-given vocation, possible marriage, and possibly their own parenting journey.

Seemingly insignificant small steps taken along the way, however, matter a great deal. They all add up to your child’s development, playing a part in their character and even in their destiny. Do not despise small baby steps or your child’s accomplishment of a small task (Zech. 4:10). Just as being faithful in little qualifies one to be given greater responsibility (Luke 16:10), the small steps, more easily quantifiable and achievable, prepare the way for achieving the larger long-term goal.

Use the powerful tool of biblical discipline, not only to correct but also to instruct, so as to help your child grow in holiness. God disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness (Heb. 12:5–11). The intentional prodding toward holiness will immeasurably strengthen the engine that will power your children’s ultimate mission for God. Character is key. Holiness matters, not as an end in itself, but as a foundation for accomplishing their mission from God (John 17:17–19).

Conclusion

May the God of peace sanctify you thoroughly for this highly significant and central work of your life. May He equip you through His Word, the Spirit, and the church to meet the wonderful challenge and responsibility of parenting a child from birth to mature adulthood.