How Can I Speak with Wisdom?

If you are a Christian, you should want to be a better communicator—not to impress people, but because your words are like the talents in Jesus’ parable (Matt. 25:14–40). You must use them to gain a return for the God who has spoken to you. Your speech should be like arrows that hit the mark, not fall uselessly to the ground (1 Sam. 3:19). Proverbs 15:23, in praising “a word in season,” can help.

Proverbs is concerned about “sound speech that cannot be condemned” (see Titus 2:8). Words such as speech, tongue, mouth, and words occur with greater frequency in Proverbs compared to other Bible books. In Proverbs 15, the writer applauds gracious, wise, disciplined, and knowledgeable answers. It commends the one who “ponders how to answer” (Prov. 15:28). To “ponder” means to meditate, devise, and plot (Ps. 1:2; 2:1; Prov. 24:2). Believers ought never speak carelessly. To do so nearly guarantees that our words will return to us empty despite our best intentions (see Isa. 55:11). But why should we waste our words when God has endowed them with life-giving power (Prov. 18:21)?

To understand the meaning of “a word in season,” it will help to know that Hebrew poetry is typically constructed by layering parallel phrases. A verse’s first line often informs those that follow. Proverbs 15:23 starts like this: “To make an apt answer is a joy to a man.” In Scripture, an “answer” is often more than a mere response to a question. It is a fitting reply, a correct one, like giving the only right solution to a mathematical problem—wrong answers are useless. For this reason, Elihu was angry at Job’s friends “because they had found no answer” to his problem, though they spoke many words (Job 32:3). So, “a word in season” is like the single answer to a riddle, or the only key that can open a lock. The second part of the verse adds the element of timeliness. Solomon’s phrase is literally translated, a word “in its time.” A well-spoken word is a faithful answer given at the right moment. To communicate in this way, you must do at least three things.

1. Only speak when you and your listener are ready.

When you don’t know what to say, few or no words are better than the wrong ones (Prov. 10:10). When you know just what you’d like to say but your heart isn’t right, be careful. When you vent in anger, your words are like the blast of a firehose, not the gentle sprinkling of a life-giving spring shower.

It can also be that your listener isn’t ready. Jesus told His disciples, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now” (John 16:12). Only later could they hear “all the truth” (John 16:13). You may not have to wait long, but there is no use planting seed when the soil isn’t ready (see 1 Sam. 25:37).

2. Use the right words at the right time.

Imagine if the prophet Nathan had not told David: “You are the man” (2 Sam. 12:7). Nathan had helped David see the ungodliness of injustice; his “anger was greatly kindled,” but not yet against his own sin. Thankfully, Nathan told the hard truth at just the right time (2 Sam. 12:1–15).

Has a minister or a friend ever spoken words from God that accomplished just what you needed: insight, encouragement, or correction? You are not God. But you imitate Him when you prayerfully choose the right words for the moment. To a doubter, you might speak words of mercy. To someone careening toward hell, your words will be stronger (Jude 22–23). A good vocabulary is like a full toolbox; use the tool most likely to accomplish the best end, and, like a blacksmith, strike while the iron is hot.

3. Trust the Spirit and use His words.

Be careful not to let your hearer’s faith “rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God” (1 Cor. 2:4–5). Martin Luther wrote: “The word of a brother, pronounced from the Holy Scripture in a time of need, carries an inconceivable weight with it. The Holy Spirit accompanies it, and by it moves and animates the hearts of the people, as their circumstances require.” If the Holy Spirit is in you, and you are feeding on God’s Word, you can say,

The Lord God has given me
the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word
him who is weary. (Isa. 50:4)

Matthew Henry writes that effective speech “is well-circumstanced, in proper time and place,” and that we ought to strive for “instruction, advice, or comfort, given seasonably, and in apt expressions, adapted to the case of the person spoken to and agreeing with the character of the person speaking.” That is a tall order to fill! But for people who struggle to know what to say, God has given a good prayer:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Ps. 19:14)

As you look to God for help, you can say,

I will speak noble things,
and from my lips will come what is right. (Prov. 8:6)